Search your soul

Care For Your Sexual Health

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Sexuality is an integral part of being human. Love, affection, and sexual intimacy contribute to healthy relationships and individual well-being. But along with the positive aspects of our human sexuality, there also are illnesses, mixed emotions and unintended consequences that can affect our sexual health. An open discussion of sexuality issues is important to promoting sexual health and responsibility.

More attention has been placed on sexual health since the World Health Organization (WHO) issued the following statement more than 25 years ago. WHO declared: “There exist fundamental rights for the individual, including …freedom from organic disorders, diseases and deficiencies that interfere with sexual and reproductive function.”

However, challenges to achieving this vision remain. In many cases, the underlying causes of sexual disorders continue to be poorly understood, and, often, few treatment options are available. The unwillingness of individuals to discuss their sexual problems may be the greatest barrier to achieving the WHO’s vision of sexual health and to promoting responsible sexual behavior. It is important to address your sexual health issues with your health care physician and partner.

What is meant by “sexual health”?

Sexual health refers to the many factors that impact sexual function and reproduction. These include a variety of physical, mental, and emotional factors. Disorders that affect any of these factors can impact a person’s physical and emotional health, as well as his or her relationships and self-image.

What are the issues that affect sexual health?

Common sexual health disorders include:

  • Reproductive system disorders, including cancer
  • Infertility problems
  • Gynecologic problems, including endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, and premenstrual syndrome
  • Urinary system problems, including incontinence and urinary tract infections
  • Sexually transmitted diseases
  • Sexual dysfunction, including erectile dysfunction (ED), painful intercourse, and loss of sexual desire

Other sexual health issues include:

  • Concerns regarding “normal” or acceptable sexual behavior and lifestyles
  • Birth control
  • Teen sex

According to the American Sexual Health Association, sexual health must go beyond outdated views of simply avoiding disease or unplanned pregnancy and should include experiencing pleasure and intimacy when desired, along with respecting the sexual rights we all share. As you think about what sexual health means, you should try to think about your own definitions of sex and how that relates to your body. Much like general physical and mental health, sexual health is just as important to your overall well-being. Educating yourself on your body and knowing what you need is important to being healthy. Your body, your mind, and your desires all matter when it comes to self-care.

Knowing and understanding sexual health means understanding what safer sex looks like. Some good questions to consider are:

  • What does safer sex look like for diverse bodies?
  • How can we make sure we’re being safe and taking care of ourselves?
  • What are your needs and what are your desires?

As you delve into sexual health, it’s about being aware of not only your particular body, but also your potential partners! Whatever your gender or sexual orientation may be, it’s important to embrace your sexuality, educate yourself on safer sex, and respect others’ boundaries. Talking to medical professionals about sexuality might be daunting, but you deserve the support for your needs around sex and sexuality.

Self Soothing The Senses

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Self-soothing is one of the most effective tools we have to get through the most painful and scary moments in life. While these techniques do not solve any problems for us, they do help us manage the fear and anxiety that prevent us from taking action. Self-soothing is also crucial for a variety of mental health reasons.

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

We all struggle with anxiety from time to time. Even though it’s uncomfortable, it’s a natural and sometimes useful sensation. It helps us feel when something is wrong or dangerous long before we figure it out logically. If all is well with our natural anxiety response, the bad feeling shouldn’t stick around. Anxiety is supposed to subside soon after we remove ourselves from the sketchy situation or solve the problem.

For most people, anxiety and panic attacks are rare occurrences which are stressful, but not major life problems. Unfortunately though, for many of us that’s not the case. Nearly 1 out of every 5 Americans struggle with chronic, heightened anxiety that doesn’t go away even when the danger has passed.

What can you do?

Soothe your senses

If you’re having a hard time dealing with recurrent anxiety and overwhelming emotions, let me share how to literally ‘calm your nerves (and senses!)’ whenever possible. Whenever you ever find yourself feeling out-of-control, start out by taking a deep breath. After that, you can gather your thoughts and arm yourself with a self soothing tactic below and move past the anxiety to get back to normal. Here are some examples of how to self-soothe through each of the senses…

Oh what do I see?

For anxiety that follows us home and just won’t let up, this is the tool we need. Walking through nature is deeply relaxing and quickly alleviates an anxious mood. Go to a pretty spot in nature or a local park. Look at photos of beautiful artwork or go to a museum to see them in person. Buy or pick some flowers and put them where you will see them often in your home or office. Watch a video of your favorite nature scenery.

So, if you’re feeling stuck in an anxious, tense mood, put your walking shoes on and get outside and watch your worries float away.

Feelin’ pretty fine

Sometimes, we just need to do something to release all of that anxious energy. Working on something with our hands is self-soothing because it is an excellent distraction from our racing thoughts. Repetitive, easy tasks can help distract us from the issue and stop the negative thought cycle.

Hand distractions are a great self-soothing tool for anyone feeling anxious. Learn to knit, play an instrument, or draw. If you want to add tactile sensations on an extra level consider these: take a warm bath or shower, wear soft, comfortable clothes, cuddle a furry friend, snuggle in a soft blanket, use a heated pad, or even just go outside and feel the breeze on your skin. Color in a coloring book. I have a mandala coloring book that I ‘zen out’ with that helps keep my hands busy.

Make a sound

Research shows that humming can improve airflow between the sinuses and the nasal cavity. This, in turn, gives you greater access to breathing. As stated above when you can breathe deeply you feel more relaxed. Humming creates turbulence in the air, which pushes it out more forcefully than quiet breathing. Humming also plays a role in certain meditation practices. Many yoga practitioners use a breathwork technique called “the bee.” It’s exactly what you’d expect. Lots of controlled breaths through sealed lips. On each exhale, the person makes a humming sound similar to a bee buzzing. This technique is often recommended for calming the mind and relieving stress.

Next time you get stressed, try humming your favorite song for 20 seconds. See if you feel better. In fact, there’s no better way to calm your mind and boost your spirits than by humming a happy tune. If that fails try to listen to calming music such or sounds such as the ocean or other nature sounds. Listen to a cat purr. Stamp your feet. Beat rhythmically on a “drum” if you have the right tools.

Whatever the obstacle is, you should try your best to overcome it.

Is that soulrenity I smell?

Inhaling certain scented oil molecules is said to transmit messages to a brain region involved in controlling emotions. Known as the limbic system, this brain region also influences the nervous system.

Aromatherapy proponents suggest that essential oils may affect a number of biological factors, including heart rate, stress levels, blood pressure, breathing, and immune function. Some of these scents are often touted as a natural remedy for stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, menstrual cramps and menopausal symptoms. Some even supposedly act as an aphrodisiac.

When you do feel anxiety creeping in, consider getting a whiff of something soothing and fragrant like an essential oil or scented candle. Try a calming scent like lavender, orange, jasmine, or vanilla. Sniff a cologne or perfume your enjoy. Cook a fragrant meal or bake something yummy.

If there’s a particular smell that puts you in a happy place, find it to harness its positive vibes.

That taste delightful!

We’ve all probably heard the science stating eating dark chocolate can help reduce levels of cortisol and catecholamines (hormones associated with stress), especially for those with high anxiety. Remember, go easy. Chocolate is calorically dense-eating too much can pack on the pounds and that can lead to more stress.

Something as simple as enjoying some seasonal fruit for the texture can be a chocolate alternative. Chewing gum or sucking boiled sweets. Sip herbal tea, such as chamomile. Drink hot cocoa. Suck on a lollipop or mint. Savor a piece of chocolate. Enjoy a delicious meal.

There’s so very much we love to taste. Find what satisfies you.

When do you use these skills?

Use these skills anytime you like! When you self-soothe you treat yourself with compassion, kindness, and care – similar to the way a good parent treats an upset child. Self-soothing has been shown to build resilience by making it easier to bounce back from difficult times. Times when we may experience stress from a major life event, like losing a job or relationship, or when we have painful or overwhelming emotions are all common.

Don’t worry about feeling awkward, guilty, or ashamed doing self-soothing activities (I know I did at first). We have been conditioned to believe some of the things that can help us the most are childish in practice. Which can’t be true because taking charge of our mental health and deliberately confronting our emotions is a very mature thing to do.

If you want to benefit from self-soothing, it’s important to challenge and overcome any beliefs that prevent you from practicing it.

Be open and experiment with all the senses. Try self-soothing through different senses and a variety of activities. Remain aware of the present moment and the effect the sensations are having on you. If you’d like you can try to create entire “self-soothing experiences” that use several senses at once. For example, take a scented bubble bath with lit candles, sip a drink while using a face mask and listening to soft music, or go for a relaxing brisk walk in cool breeze.

Don’t be emotionally “hijacked,” (lose control of parts of your brain that control rational thinking have shut down and you aren’t able to think straight) when you are behind the wheel of wellness.

Self-soothing is a powerful tool for tolerating distress. If you’re looking for ways to get through difficulties without resorting to behaviors that will cause more trouble, it’s a valuable skill to master – so make yourself a cup of tea, put on some soothing sounds, light a candle or two, and try it out. You might be surprised by what soothes you.

You Suck!: Energy Vampires

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We are all a bit more alike than we care to admit. We all want the adventure, excitement, and fun that accompanies the best relationships. How do you do that if your romance is draining you instead of filling you up energetically?

Have you felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and negatively impacted by thoughts of someone, in this case a partner, most of the day?

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

It could be possible you’ve picked an emotional vampire as a mate or friend. Some people we know such as friends, family, and colleagues will make us feel elevated and positive whenever we’re in their presence. But there’s others who will suck the serenity, optimism and zest right from you and you might be none the wiser.

Energy vampires do more than take your physical energy. The persistent ones can make you feel unlovable, unworthy, and full of self doubt — reinforcing the false notion that you don’t deserve anything better.
If you’re not careful there are subtle slights that can be attempts at cracking your core and getting to your precious energy.

Have they mentioned your moods passively? “You’re always so sensitive!” Do they attempt to make you feel bad about yourself? “Oh I see you’re putting on a few pounds.” Are they jealous of any positive growth you exhibit? “So, you’ve got a new hobby? Wonder how long that’ll last.”

These individuals always take more from relationships than they ever give. Your time spent with them is usually focused on one of the many “crisis” they regularly have going on. If you examine their lives closely, nothing makes them happy. So in turn, they want to take your happiness. Which never works, because it’s not a genuine joy produced within themselves, so it actually makes you unhappy in the process.

Subtle signs

You’ll notice most conversations revolve around themselves and their feelings. And you listen, because you know how moody they get if you say the wrong thing, or make the wrong joke. And if you try to point any of this out?

You might as well get out.

They don’t want to closely examine and acknowledge their own character flaws, they want to remind you of yours. And don’t worry, they’ll be keeping a mental list. When you do manage to step up and say something, you are somehow guilt-tripped into taking the blame for their emotional or mental state.

Do you find yourself experiencing the following:

  • Excessive sleepiness or desire to nap
  • Increased or new anxiety, depression, or negative thoughts
  • Gloomy and frequent moods, during or after interacting with them
  • Feelings of being put down, sniped, or slimed

All of these are signs someone is draining your energy and stopping you from setting healthy boundaries. Energy vampires need to be invited in, and we do this often without realizing it. See if you’ve encountered any of the following energy vampires.

1. The Victim/Martyr

These energy suckers induate you with your “woe is me” vibe. When you scratch beneath the surface you’ll notice they do not actually take responsibility for their own actions. It’s them versus the world and that becomes their fuel for their unhappiness. Want to offer them a solution to their problems? “Yes, but…” is a common rebuttal you will hear thrown back.

Protect yourself: Boundaries are necessary here. Take the time to listen to them and simply say, “I care about you and I want to help but I can only discuss this for more than a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions.” It isn’t harsh, it’s taking care of yourself. If you’re not good at speaking up, use your body language (breaking eye contact, crossing your arms, removing yourself if necessary, etc). This is how to set healthy limits.

2. The Controller

You know this one: the people who obsessively try to control you and tell you what you’re supposed to feel and how you’re supposed to be. They have an opinion about everything. They will attempt to take control by invalidating your emotions if they don’t like them and say things like “You know what you should do?” and promptly give you their list. You can’t help but feel dominated, degraded, and demoralized.

Protect yourself: Reaffirm your assertiveness in a healthy way and say, “I value your advice, but I think I should work on this on my own.” Stand up for yourself. Don’t play the victim and don’t sweat it if they get a little defensive. They aren’t used to having someone being as honest as you are. The more you exert your honest self, the more they will back off on their expectations to control and drain you of your power.

3. The Narcissist

Enter the person who has an over inflated ego. It’s usually coupled with a grandiose sense of entitlement and over-the-top self importance. The name of their game is “Me first.” This is the most dangerous of energy vampires because they truly can’t put themselves in yours, or anyone’s shoes. And they show a true under capacity for genuine love and emotions. Don’t do things their way and they will turn on the coldness to you by withholding emotional or physical affection or even punishing you in other ways.

Protect yourself: You’re dealing with a person who is emotionally stunted. You have to be honest and adjust expectations. Don’t expect selflessness and no-strings attached love with someone like this. As always, remember your self-worth is not dependent on them, it lies within you. If you want to get through to them you must show them how something will be to their benefit. However, it’s better not to have to uphold this level of nauseating ego stroking but if this interaction is necessary try and use the tips above.

Protego Horribilis (Protection)

The above Harry Potter spell says it all. The takeaway from this should be that you can fix this by addressing it head on.

If you continue to let others cross, ignore, or even be unaware of your boundaries, you’re doing yourself a disservice. No one can protect your energy but you. If you are in a cycle of being drained, you cannot provide the best version of yourself because you lack the energy to do so. If you’re emotionally tapped out this could resurface in other detrimental ways down the line.

You always have the power to sever any relationship or dynamic that is no longer serving your highest purpose. You will be helping yourself and the other person by enacting boundaries and in turn, they can learn what a healthy relationship or friendship looks like.

Start small

Take it one step at a time by setting a boundary tomorrow with someone who you know internally, drains you, and then the next day set another one, and so on. Time will show that when your clear and distinct emotional lines are drawn in the sand, you’ll be more clearly able to see whose footprints are crossing them.

Live the life you want, free from guilt and burden put on you by others.

The Simple Nighttime Routine

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You are getting very sleepy…okay maybe not and you need a little help getting to that place we call ‘Dreamland’. I can’t remember a time I fell asleep without a routine but it wasn’t always this way for me. A good night’s sleep can be hard to come by but creating a consistent, easy-to-maintain evening routine can help get one ‘Z‘ closer to a full night of Zzzs.

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

Is this really important?

Absolutely! My boyfriend used to make fun of me when I started my slumber routine each night (even when at his place) but over time he has adopted one himself. I say with confidence that nighttime routines can benefit everyone.

Healthy sleep habits can make a big difference in the quality of life.

The National Sleep Foundation

Most of us can benefit from improving at least one aspect of our sleep habit. If you’re waking up unrested each morning, wake up frequently during the night, feel tired during the day, or have trouble falling asleep at night, there’s a very good chance that you have bad sleep hygiene that’s messing with your sleep.

Sleep hygiene

We have lots of ways we stay healthy in our daily lives but we often forget our sleep hygiene. If you wash your hands when they’re dirty, consume medicine when you’re sick, then you definitely owe yourself the same level of sleep hygiene. It is this nighttime routine that will help your mind and body recognize that it’s bedtime.

Bedtime rituals and nightly habits are collectively, these behaviors are known as sleep hygiene. Whether you practice good or bad sleep hygiene is up to you. But if you want to get a better night’s sleep, the answer often begins with improving your sleep hygiene.

1. Get your bed/room ready

This sounds like a simple one but sometimes we underestimate this step. Prepare your pillows in an arrangement you prefer. Put fresh sheets on the bed or spray some lavender scented oil to start the association process in your brain. Lavender is said to promote calmness and relaxation and soon, when you smell it, your mind will start associating it with winding down.

Most people don’t give much thought to the aesthetics of their snoozing space, but you’d be surprised how big of a difference it makes. Research shows that things like fresh sheets can easily make your slumbering experience better, and 71% of people surveyed said they sleep better when their sheets are clean. More importantly keep it dark, the darkness convinces your brain that it’s still night time.

2. Journal (even if only mentally)

If you’re like me, stress hits me right before bedtime! Your brain immediately starts zeroing in and mentally cataloging everything you have to do the next day—even though there’s nothing you can do about it in the moment.

Take a few minutes to pick out an outfit, plan what you want for breakfast, prepare your work bag, and loosely plan out your day. If you have to write a short to-do list of the things you need to accomplish before you head to the office. Don’t let more mindless TV zap your need to take a mental (or physical) account of your next day’s actions. Studies have shown that journaling reduces stress and helps boost your EQ. And don’t forget to write or think about a couple of things you did well that day and what a couple of things are that you can improve upon tomorrow.

3. Read

Research shows that just six minutes of reading per day can reduce stress levels by 68%. It’s nice to unplug and read a good old fashioned paper book (or at least put on ‘Airplane mode’ while you do so it’s uninterrupted) and slip into a new state of mind. And if you have to read on a tablet, try to use one that doesn’t have blue light (which keeps you awake).

Did you know reading helps put your consciousness on another plane, which will induce sleep? Think about how children adore stories before bedtime…this helps them to get a great night’s sleep. What a pity it is that so many of us lose this habit as adults.

Other things to keep in mind

Among above, you can also

  • Get your bedroom to the perfect temperature (the cooler the better).
  • Make sure you have it quiet, or turn on your white noise machine if you need something playing over your thoughts.
  • Have a snack. Some people sleep better if they have a small snack before bed, but you want to avoid large meals late at night. 
  • Limit other substances, too. Caffeine and alcohol both disrupt sleep. While alcohol may make you drowsy and induce sleep initially, it disrupts your sleep in the latter part of the night – preventing you from getting essential amounts of REM and deep sleep.

The right way to sleep is different for different people, and it may change for you over time. Keep doing them every night, but feel free to change them whenever needed.

This may seem like a lot to prepare for but it only takes about 20 minutes from start to slumber. By taking 20 minutes per evening to unwind, you’ll be setting yourself up for success every day.

Co-authored by Natali

What’s The Point: Acupuncture

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Alternative medicines have been making their way across the country for the last decade. While many practices in alternative medicine are becoming more mainstream, acupuncture is still too ‘prickly’ for some to try. That wasn’t the case for me. Even though a fair amount of the linguistics surrounding acupuncture was puzzling, I didn’t let that stop me from becoming a human pin cushion.

And you know what? I actually liked it.

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

What is acupuncture?

Acupuncture is the insertion of very thin and sterile needles into the skin. It is a treatment used mostly for pain management but has many other benefits.

This practice is a key component of traditional Chinese medicine. But, is considered pseudoscience as it has no scientific basis. Though neither does astrology and most of us still know our zodiac sign.

Upon closer look, the response is a fully, demonstrable physiological phenomenon, according to Dr. Leena Mathew says.

Attending physician in Anesthesiology and Pain Medicine at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University Medical Center

Does that mean it doesn’t really “work”? Even if it’s all in our minds, even while receiving a placebo, we still feel something. In this case the study showed the change in blood flow patterns in the cortices of their brains in fMRI. We all are on the varying spectrum of more responsive to the placebo effect than others. This is just the type of treatment where that could be heightened to placebo sensitive individuals.

What is acupuncture for?

In Chinese medicine theory, the needles are inserted at corresponding channels that run horizontal and vertical within the body. These channels move qi, invigorate blood, and tap into our vital essence. (All of which I took the time to read about). Stimulating the channels (or meridians) are said to unblock any ‘qi’ stagnation. In turn the body is prepared and pushed to begin to heal itself naturally. 

Not only can acupuncture help treat the pain, common cold and stomach viruses, according to the World Health Organization, it is helpful for a wide variety of problems including mental and emotional stress, skin diseases, neurological disorders, dentistry, infections, childbirth, and other conditions.  

How does acupuncture work?

It has been theorized that the needles are placed in the exact positions needed to mimic larger nerve fibers in order to cover smaller ones. When you stub your toe do you reach down to rub it or grab it in your fingers? This helps alleviate pain, even though it doesn’t actually do anything. It helps dull over the pain sensation with another, more pleasing, sensation like the rubbing.

Another theory is that our endorphins are the driving force behind the dulling of the pain. These are the chemicals that get released to help ‘calm’ or ‘soothe’ us during injury, distress or other harmful situations. You may also know it as the “high” we feel after a long run, eating chocolate, or speaking with someone we really care about.

Yet, other studies examined how acupuncture alters the body’s biochemistry and the release of neurotransmitters and hormones. Perhaps it’s a little from all of these theories.

What does it feel like? (I bet it hurts!)

I thought the same thing initially and that is where most my fears and anxiety about the treatment stemmed from. However, the sensation that was experienced, I found to be personally nothing more than a small pinching, if anything. Immediately after a warm, tingly, “pressure” was felt. At some points I felt these ‘tingles’ all over my body as five to twenty needles were inserted for 25 to 30 minutes. They explained to me that the timing depended on the condition that you were receiving treatment for–I was there for anxiety and insomnia.

But is it…weird??

Nothing was that strange given the actual procedure taking place. I was told to not eat a large meal a certain amount of hours before my treatment. I had read I needed to have enough energy to maximize the potential effects of the treatment but not be full. This was to prevent fainting.

One thing I was curious about was, if there was special attire needed or if I would be asked to remove clothing. Thankfully they didn’t really need to do anything under my clothing except access my lower back, which I had previously agreed to. I wore a baggy t-shirt and shorts and felt most comfortable…all things considered.

I got asked the typical routine doctor visit questions about my body and then was asked to past a series of small tests. These were easy and performed on me in the manners of having my blood pressure taken, taking my temperature, pressing on my organs for tenderness and my reflexes. All of these I passed in less than 5 minutes.

Surprisingly, I learned I had a lot more tension that I originally thought. I was advised to be more aware of those sensations in my body. 

Is it safe?

I was concerned with my health and safety first and foremost. So, I did a lot of research and found a reputable place I liked here in New York City. In the United States needles cannot be and are never reused on any person (all of the 15 places I called stated they practiced within the law). What really helped me feel safe? Watching my acupuncturist opened my hermetically sealed bag of needles in front of me. There is virtually no chance you will contract a disease from receiving this treatment any more than you would when having your blood drawn. And the needles are smaller and made of very thin and flexible surgical steel, which gave me almost no pain at all.

Would I recommend it?

With non-insurance covered sessions ranging from $100-$250 this is something I would reserve for special self-care occasions. I was initially aware that after just one appointment, I would not be “cured” of my anxiety or insomnia. However, I’d like to note, I did feel a definite change and improvement with my mood afterward. I slept deeply for each night the week following my treatment.

I’ve only been to four appointments so far, but I feel as if my body reacts well to acupuncture. I know it’s very possible that this could be the placebo effect. Or it could be that my reactions are just coincidences, but that hasn’t stopped me. I will continue to go to sessions and see what the overall results are (I scheduled six in total!). I’ve also decided even if the reactions are all in my mind, if going to acupuncture is making me feel better then I don’t see a problem.

If nothing else, it’s a good time for me to relax, be calm, sit still, and focus on myself. It allows me to find my soulrenity.

Mindful Meals

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Diets come and go. Eating fads fade and questionable recipes make their way around the web and into our offices often. Most of them center on what we are eating and not much on how we are eating.

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

Mindful (Intuitive) eating is a not a new concept. It also shouldn’t be surprising that it comes from the teachings of Buddhist as it strives to connect us and the experience of our food on a deeper level.

It’s the opposite of dieting

Mindful eating teachings help you practice consciousness about what you are putting into your body along with the why. Mindful eating is about listening to your body wholly–ignoring emotional signals–to better tune into your stomach’s (intuitive) desires.

It isn’t a complicated process and can be done with any one’s lifestyle whether you find yourself shopping at the fanciest grocery stores or the one on your corner. Again, it’s about what your body needs (not wants on a whim) and honoring that within.

Mindful mental notes:

Know thy food

What’s the story behind your meal? Do you know what the carbon footprint may be of that chicken or fruit you’re consuming? How far did it travel to get onto your plate? Even when we can’t answer these definitively, just thinking about them can help you appreciate the journey food has made to be in your presence. I’ve found this type of thinking has changed how, when, and where I purchase my food (I try to stay local). Overall it’s given me a better appreciation for all that it takes to get food in front of me.

Sip (or chew) in silence

Endless studies have shown that when we eat with electronics we stop fully paying attention to what we’re putting in our mouths. That can be dangerous in causing overeating, undereating, or even possibly hazardously eating. Just ask my friend who choked on pizza crust while eating and looking at a funny meme on her screen! She learned the hard way but you don’t have to. If you feel like you can’t move away from television or your phone long enough for each meal, just start with one and watch the difference unfold.

Speaking of silence…

Think of how you drink tea. Slowly, deliberately, and mostly silently. This is because we are aware of the temperature, and delicacy of the beverage. But, also because we want to savor the experience or flavor. Tea and coffee can usually be consumed without conversation and that’s why we often equate it to feelings of ‘relaxation’ and ‘undwinding’. A mindful meal makes for a mindful mind.

Slow down

We’ve all probably heard the old adage of chew your food 32 times per bite. While that may be a little extreme, we can learn something by slowing down when we are eating. With fast food, drive thru, delivery, and on-demand dinners, it’s easy to forget that we don’t have to eat as fast as food can arrive. Eating slowly can decrease hunger and lead to higher levels of satiety between meals. Meaning you leave your plate feeling more satisfied. Don’t believe me? Check out what happened when one journalist experimented with eating slower for two weeks.

Listen from within

Sometimes our bodies are screaming “No more food!” and we still cram those stray fries or free bread down. All because we don’t want to leave food on our plates or we’re worried about loss in the cost of the meal. But, your body knows best so if you’re feeling full don’t force it. I’ve made the mistake of overeating in the past and paid for it later that night as I lie awake in bed cursing having those curly fries. It isn’t worth it. When we’re full, we’re full. We’ve just made it a habit of ignoring what our bodies are telling us because our minds are elsewhere.

There’s also a few other things that can help with mindful eating such as drinking water before and after a meal to simulate more fullness (of water) so you consume less (food) if you’re worried about overeating. You can also set your utensils down between bites (that’s always fun) or my favorite…eat with your opposite hand. This forces your brain to think differently and more purposefully in order to not spill your food. It’s hand-eye coordination at its finest.

It’s about commitment

Even if every meal won’t be consumed mindfully maybe you can get there (if that’s your goal) by starting small and working up to some of the items listed above.

Above all respect, honor, and enjoy every bite no matter how big or how small–donuts or salads, it works for all food. If you’re feeling lonely in this way of approaching food, there’s an entire Center For Mindful Eating that you can explore for more information and teachings.

Co-authored by Natali

Become Friends With Your Body – Part II

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In my previous article, I touched upon becoming friends with our body by learning to listen to what it has to say to us. In this article, I want to dive a little bit deeper about learning to connect with our body to cultivate the friendship we can have by communicating with it consciously.

Wanna rest your eyes? Listen to this via the MySoulrenity + Beyond podcast!

If we have learned to listen to the body on a basic level, it gets easier to hear what it has to say, and if it’s easier to hear what it has to say, then we can start discovering how it feels no matter where we are or what we’re doing.

On many levels, this includes how our environmental experiences affect our connection with our body, which in turn can affect our mental and emotional states.

Let’s begin

I’m sure you’ve read and heard about how certain colors can affect our mood. Or how certain aesthetics can create a safe surrounding for us to explore our emotions. Maybe you’ve read about Feng Shui and what it can do for a person’s mood or lifestyle.

Now imagine what you could do for your body if you applied color visualization to certain parts of the body.

Our bodies are just as easily influenced by these things as our minds or emotional state. Every part of us work together to create the whole system so that it all works in tandem. Without the body…we’d be only a sum of our parts.

Do you remember the last time you went to a concert and the pounding of the bass reverberated through your entire body? How about the last time you got stuck in traffic and the stress caused your senses to be overcome until you had an emotional outburst? What about the time you were at an incredible height and suddenly felt the gravity, which in turn made you react out of fear?

Some of these are very simple examples. But they still demonstrate how easy it is for our bodies to pick up stimuli. Then we transfer it to the rest of our being and then express itself through our experiences.

It’s very easy for us to forget…

That our senses and perception are still very much influenced by how our body feels about our surrounding environment. Like some kind of filter, even our body size, height, or width can influence how we see or perceive reality around us. If you are living from a place where you don’t really listen to what the body has to say about reality, it will be easier to fall into a reaction that doesn’t benefit you in the situation. This is very tough for most people to discover about themselves. Often we will toss our bodily reactions into a denial bin or each sensation controls our life to serious extents.

It’s very difficult….

To balance our body with other aspects, but it can be done.

We have to sit with the realization that our body itself is coming from an organic place. A place that interacts with our surroundings. Every second of the day even in ways we might not notice. Our bodies can create a conscious awareness to the connection we have with ourselves on a physical plane.

One of my favorite books that covers this topic in depth is by the very talented Healer and Shaman, Mary Mueller Shutan, titled ‘The Body Deva: Working with the Spiritual Consciousness of the Body’.

This book covers the connection one can have with their body and how to connect with the Deva, or spiritual avatar, of their own body consciousness. Through the practice of getting to know your body in visualizations or representations of your own body Deva. Using this methodology, one can not only reconnect but create a relationship with every part of their body. (Right down to the pinkie toes!)

Body scans

Simple conversations along with easy body scans taught within this book, can teach us what kind of pain our body is in and why. It houses many exercises including one that by using different types of color visualizations surrounding different body parts and more!

For example: In one of my legs I suffer from pain due to an invasive surgery I had when I was 19 because of a near fatal car accident. Using Mary’s work, I was able to visualize a color on this specific limb. This appeared to me as a black and cloudy swirl. Connecting with my Deva during meditation, I was able to have a conversation and visualize what my body was trying to tell me about this specific limb. An intuitive feeling came forward.

Deeper introspection revealed to me that my leg had felt disconnected to my body. This has been ever since my accident due to poor physical therapy. And denial of the pain from the trauma. It forced me to finally take a look at myself and the poor decisions I was making for my leg and cutting it off from healing.

…and healed you may feel

Not only did the meditation bring attention to a part of my body but it made me realize how easily I can ignore my limbs. Now I can find the time in my daily life to converse with parts of my body. Parts that would otherwise be ignored or unanswered because I let my environment dictate my perception of how I felt or ignored myself.

By framing my experience I was able to then model my environmental reactions by creating the time to massage it at least once a week. This is what my leg wanted all along!

Is this kind of practice easy? Not at first, but when you learn to start trusting yourself and what your body says—you cultivate a relationship of deeper levels of awareness. This is how I learned to nourish my own body.

Are you ready to nourish yous?

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Spread the Soulrenity!