Female friendships, they’re amazing but sometimes seem such a difficult feat? Why do some women find getting along with other women so amazingly challenging and putting others down so satisfying?
There was a time when even I preferred the company of guys, rather than even trying to befriend girls. Guys just seemed easier to get along with. They didn’t judge, they could handle my rather rough sense of humor, and they weren’t jealous.
Yes, I said the J word. The word that is often used as an explanation to why so many women find female friendships so very hard. But nothing is ever that simple. We’re not born to be jealous of each other. As so many other traits, jealousy is a learned behavior.
All friendships are valuable. But when you’re lucky enough to be a female who clicks with another female on a level where no subject is a taboo, who you can trust always, and who you love beyond anything, congratulations. You’ve got something which value cannot be measured in any currency because it goes beyond such things.
Relax With Some Feminine Energy
Let’s start with a rather obvious one: we women are graced with better emotional abilities than the opposite sex. We are better able to recognize different emotions. We are also better able to express these emotions and live with them.
The extremely important factor here is our ability to express: our ability to talk about our feelings. You all know that feeling, right? The feeling when you’re upset and you just need to talk to someone about it!
That’s when you call your girlfriend(s), gather together with them, perhaps equipped with a bottle of wine, and you let it all out. You tell them your deepest fears, your biggest worries and your dearest dreams. And they listen and support you.
There’s nothing that reduces stress levels like being able to talk, and being listened to.
Boost Up Your Buds
Women tend to be very loyal. Not all of them, obviously, but a great majority of us. We put a lot of trust in people we love and value most. And we expect the same loyalty to be reciprocated. Loyal relationships make us feel stable, which also helps with our self-esteem.
It’s easier to pay a compliment to another woman when you feel it takes nothing away from you, and when you can count on their honesty and ability to pay one back when it’s needed. A girlfriend’s positive comment on our outlook or actions boosts our confidence more than a man’s compliment. It’s funny, but true.
Trust Deeply and Deeper
Do you trust your partner? Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be with them, right? But for a lot of us trust between our partner versus trust between us and our closest girlfriends is not comparable.
Your boyfriend will tell you you look beautiful in that dress because they know that’s what you wanna hear (yes, I know, not all boyfriends!). Whereas you can be damned sure that your girlfriends will tell you honestly if a dress doesn’t do you any favors.
On a more serious note, if that boyfriend then fails you, you can always rely on the fact that you’re not alone. Your friends are there for you, they will hold you up and they will support you. No matter what size the mountain you have to climb, with a safety net like your girlfriends you’ll be just fine!
On a similar subject, when you’ve got yourself a little ‘gals’ army’ there is no situation, no fight, no catastrophe big enough that couldn’t be handled. You’ve got the ultimate support system to which you can turn about any matter.
Whether it’s positive or negative, it don’t matter. You girlfriends will want to hear about it and celebrate/lament it with you. When you’ve really fucked up and you’re embarrassed beyond any measure, you can count on them to not judge you or laugh at you. There is no element of fear in female friendships.
There’s no denying that if women ruled the world, it would be a lot kinder, a lot calmer, and a lot nicer a place to live in. Women see value in other things than power and money. Those are unsustainable values, that have extremely destructive consequences when misused. We see it everywhere in the world today:
Far-right movements rising around the world, most useless wars raging all over the place, incels blaming and hating women for their own inability to form meaningful relationships, and mental illnesses being amped up by everything around us telling us we’re never good enough. All for the sake of money and power.
At the end of the day all of us humans are exactly the same. We all look for happiness, we all need food to stay alive, and we all need a community where we feel safe and accepted.
It all comes down to empathy. Women are intuitive, which means we are better able to read emotions. And because we are also able to see things from others’ point of view, we are great communicators and listeners. This creates trust, feeling of safety and community. And that’s the strongest base for any relationship, ideology, or a state.